On The Road : Week One

“The road is open with possibility and that can be scary sometimes. It means there is so much newness and change daily, but this Gemini Full Moon is shining bright through the gum trees reminds me to stay open and curious, these feelings are natural and are all part of the process.” ~ From my journal, first night on the road.

I had grown comfortable in the Northern Rivers. I knew where I would sleep, where to fill up water, I had a gym membership to sauna and shower, I knew where I liked to shop, I had friends and family there, I even knew of a couple of power points around the place when I needed more power. But I knew it was time to leave, I don’t live in my van to say in one spot. I live in my van to have my home wherever I am because I love movement & travel.

I called my mum on the drive out of Ballina as I headed in the direction of Yamba which is only about 1.5hrs south. It was getting late and I was trying to figure out where I was going to sleep - back to the life of logistics (van life tings), I pulled into a rest stop next to the highway still on the phone about to hang up and park up for the night then I was like no, I want to have a good nights sleep - I’m not sleeping next to the highway under these bright lights. So, still on the phone, I opened maps and switched it to satellite view and scoped around the nearest exit which was Woombah. It looked pretty rural and boarded Bundjalung National Park ~ I found my spot.

I was still on the phone and my mum wasn’t thrilled to hear I was staying in some random street for the night, obviously she worries about me. I told her I’m a lot safer these days, locked in my little van than when I was in my early 20’s backpacking around the world staying in dorm rooms full of people in party hostels in random locations, constantly up to no good. “True” she replied when I put it into perspective. These day, I like spending most of my time with nature.

I pulled down the gravel road I had chosen on the map and there were kangaroos everywhere - which is a great reminder for me to take it slow, I always forget about the risks of these guys while driving at night, I never really saw them in WA or in the Northern Rivers. I was surrounded by towering shadows, this is what I was looking for - trees! I had a great sleep that night.

I woke up under massive old growth Scribbly Gums. The patterns are made by moth larva as they tunnel between the layers of bark. One of them was oozing red sap, staining the bark. To my eyes it looked like art. My brain went back to a phrase I kept thinking starting in 2021 when I was taking drone pictures of salt lakes in WA… 'nature is the original artist’! Later that afternoon I was on the beach in Angourie and came across these small cliff/caves caused by erosion and a big washed up logs and again, all I could see was art. The textures, the patterns, the colour palette. It was all a big fat yes from me and it really set me down this whole wavelength of realising I was just going to be travelling around one big art gallery as I move across Country.

This day coincided with day 1 of my three day juice cleanse. Under the those Scribbly Gums I set my intentions for the cleanse, which I have never done before and I really think it helped me complete it. I’ve juice cleansed many times before but have never seen it through, but this one I was committed. I was definitely hungry that day and the weather was super windy in Yamba so I looked on the map and tried to find a beach positioned out of the wind, that is what lead me to Angourie and finding those caves.

A swim in the ocean and a lay in the sun was enough to fill my soul and ease my hunger. While I was getting ready to leave the beach a guy came out of the water yelling in pain, he had stepped on a stingray or something so he had a massive gash on his foot/ankle so that was a bit of excitement as we were trying to help him. New fear unlocked lol stepping on a stingray. I remember one time in Nicaragua, a guy that turned into my boyfriend of 5 years told me about the stingray shuffle when heading into the water. So you slide your feet in the sand, don’t step. Going forward, when I swim I will be doing the stingray shuffle. I decided to head back to the gum trees and sleep undisturbed there, in nature, where I belong.

The next day was a really lazy one. Day 2 of the juice fast and the rain came over so I was just hanging out in my van trying to keep up with how much liquid I was supposed to drink. I moved to Iluka marina and hung out doing stuff on my laptop. There was a break in the weather so I went for a beach walk and stripped off, stingray shuffled in and swum just as it started to rain. I’m actually loving these daily swims now I don’t have access to a shower, they are so nourishing for my soul and make me feel so alive. I’m not usually a huge swimmer even though I’m at the beach all the time.

Later in the afternoon a HUGE thunderstorm rolled over and I was lowkey scared of all the lightning and wind being around these huge trees. Gumtrees are known to drop branches so I was undecided on where to sleep. With a bit of back and forth in my decision making, I found myself back under the Scribbly Gums for one final time. At 2am I was awoken my aching muscles, it was such an unusual sensation and I just assumed it was part of my body detoxing on my juice cleanse.

I couldn’t sleep so I dove into a book that I’m currently reading and loving. It’s called The Crossing by Sophie Matterson. Sophie walked solo across Australia with camels, while I’ve never done that, I can relate to a lot of her story so far. Somehow I managed to fall back asleep.

Now it’s the final day of my juice cleanse and I’d managed to find a place to get a colonic about an hour away. I packed up and headed off to a place called Gumtree Retreat. Colonic done, the owner was lovely and in the afternoon I did my tax return and I even organised to look at a housesit the next day just outside Bellingen - yay to getting things done!

I found my way to Sherwood Reserve which was about a 30min drive from Gumtree Retreat

This place was STUNNING and it kept getting better the deeper I walked. I had the place to myself for hours before a couple of young guys joined at the last big waterfall. This is what it’s all about, this is what I want to be doing with my time. Deep in nature. I had so many random streams of consciousness come through, next time I need to bring a pen and paper. My channel is soo open in places like this.

I decided to stay the night in the parking area surrounded by trees and no phone signal (just how I like it) I dove back into my book while the bugs and birds sung. My body was still aching from the muscle pain so I got out my rug and yoga mat and did some movement. I usually find every excuse not to get my mat out but my body wasn’t really giving me a choice. I felt so good to lay under the trees in the afternoon sun shining through the leaves. I reflected on this moment in my journal that night…

“I’m reminded that the time is always now. Very often I try to wait for the perfect moment, the perfect location, the perfect whatever - this is the sneakiest form of self sabotage. The time is now as my body screams at me in pain wanting to move and stretch. I’m in nature - why am I sitting in my van? It’s late afternoon and the sun out… the time is always now”

I woke up aching at 2am that morning again, so I read my book and fell back asleep.

Today my juice fast is complete! Yay, I was feeling super proud of myself - but this was the start of the real challenge…. a water fast. I was in high spirits in the morning despite my muscle pains. I had figured out what it was from ~ I was taking charcoal tablets at night to assist the detox, which was making me dehydrated, which in turn made my muscles cramp (this assumption was proven correct the following day). Going into a water fast off the back of 2 shit nights sleep was rough. Anyways, I thought I was just going to take it as it comes and see how long I can go for. I headed to the coast to go to the beach but it was so windy everywhere and I couldn’t find any beach facing a good direction. I ended up at a beach in Coffs Harbour and made do with a dip and a quick lay in the sun but sand was blowing everywhere and my tolerance was LOW. So I packed up and started cruising in the direction of the housesit I had organised to look at that afternoon.

Still in the burbs in Coffs, I drove past this big lake that was full of Blue Lotus! I wanted to stop at Mullumbimby markets on the Friday before I left the Northern Rivers to get some but I didn’t have time. So this was perfect, I stopped to harvest some from the lake - their fragrance is so divine. I chilled in that carpark for the afternoon facing the lake then made moves to the housesit. After a quick meeting with the owner, it all was confirmed. I will be housesitting from next week looking after their farm, I’m excited! I love a random housesit experience.

This means I will be around Bellingen for the next 3-4 weeks, I didn’t expect it to flow like this but I’m trusting it all because it feels good and true. One great thing about this area is there is heaps of state forests and fun fact, you’re allowed to camp in them! Not that a the title of National Park has ever stopped me but it’s nice to not have to even consider the risk of getting a fine. Part of the Never Never River runs through the Tuckers Nob State Forest so I pulled up there for the night. The river is low but I just lay on my rug and had a quick rinse.

This night was ROUGH, the aches weren’t as bad because I didn’t take the charcoal tablets but man I was hot in the van, it was so humid and I don’t usually sleep with the door open but at 2am I put my magnetic fly screen up and opened the door and fell back asleep. I woke at 6am very shaky and weak, it was day 2 of my water fast and when I got up to open my van boot and my heart started racing I knew this wasn’t right - my body didn’t feel good. So I had a quick dip in the river and headed into Bellingen IGA to buy some food. I was breaking my fast and would try again when I wasn’t running of 3 nights of terrible sleeps.

My power bank was low due to several cloudy days so I did something I never usually do and I decided to pay to stay somewhere to power up and get a good nights sleep.

Bellingen Showgrounds has reasonable powered sites so I parked up, charged up and had a nice hot shower. I nourished my body with some food and with all this new energy I dove head first into updating my website and offerings - since I was going to be in the area for the next few weeks I want to advertise for massage clients. I peeled myself away from my laptop in the afternoon to check out the small growers markets and on my walk back I bought a cute bunch of homegrown dahlias from a neighbourhood flower stand near the showgrounds.

I got sucked back into my laptop vortex and didn’t go to bed until 2AM!!!! actually insane, I was planning on a decent night sleep finally. I woke up feeling tired as fuck and it was due to rain all day so I extended my stay and hung low in my van because Billie (my van) looks so pretty with all her flower decorations. Just because you live in a van, doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful.

I again, got swept up into my laptop vortex and it was raining all day so not much else to do. Honestly there’s a lot to it, all this back end booking system/website stuff. My sweet tooth kicked in and after resisting for over a week now I though fuck it I’m going into town for some chocolate. The rain started again so I thought maybe not and went to have a shower to wash my hair. The rain had cleared when I came out so now was my chance while the dark clouds lingered I made the short walk into town to get my treat.

Just as I was leaving town the rain started and I hesitated but then I realised my hair was already wet and it wasn’t cold so I thought fuck it, I’m already half wet what’s a little more. The rain changed from a drizzle to a downpour real quick and my run turned to a walk, embracing the moment instead. There’s something quite poetic about walking in the summer rain. I walked past the house I bought the flowers from yesterday and a man yells “OIII” I kept walking and he comes to the fence holding a bunch of flowers saying “here’s some flowers for you, since you’re walking in the rain!” “aww thanks but I bought some yesterday from you” I replied, he insisted I keep them. My poetic walk just turned up a notch and I walked back to my van, soaking wet, holding my flowers & chocolate with a massive smile on my face.

What makes it even more poetic is just last night as I was going to sleep, I had some fear come up around how I was going to make this trip work. Do I have enough money? Will life open up for me? What am I doing? you know, those types questions and worries were running through my head. No matter how long I’ve lived my life like this (literally since I was 18) these questions and worries still cross my mind sometimes. So, I did some EFT Tapping to move the energy and to remind my subconscious that abundance is all around ~ and here it was, the physical manifestation of that belief in real time.

Life is fucking beautiful and it’s found in these small moments. Honestly, blink and you’ll miss it. You need to be attunded to noticing them. I had another moment yesterday of ‘ahh the simple things’ watching baby magpies play tug of war with a piece of string. It really is the little things.

Okay so that’s week one! Well done if you made it through. This is fun, so I’ll let you know how the next week unfolds ♡