My New Chapter

I am making the commitment to myself.

To live out loud

To live in love with life and what it has to offer me and what I have to offer it. One of the most freeing times in my life was getting a free swag of marketplace and packing my shit up to drive across Australia for the first time.

January 26th 2022 ~ Music blaring, the Nullubour empty. Not a care in the world. Just me and the trucks and one other car I would occasionally catch up with at the petrol station.  I did the trip to Albury in just 4 days. It was my first real taste of true freedom. My first real taste of choosing something that set my fucking soul on fire. My first real taste at standing solid in something I knew to be true so deep down in my bones (vax free bby!)

My world opened up and it's funny because I have travelled the world, for most of my adult life and I've never tasted this level of freedom. Australia is so adventurous, so ancient, so mystical and so magical ~ the world's oldest land, the world's longest living culture. The land is so alive and it calls my name often. My favourite memories of my life were on this land, in the Kimberley ~ I was so wild and free, naked at the campground, and yeah there were people around but I didn't care, I was just in pure raw expression. Not the slightest concern that anything could go wrong or even thinking twice about not being able to do anything. I was making it work in the worlds smallest set up, going down deeply corrugated roads… no fridge, no shade, not much money ~ just a mattress in the back of my Honda jazzy and living from pure vibes.

This, this is the energy I want to embody and tap back into again because I am her and she is me, this was only going on 4 years ago now and while a fuck load has happened that has rocked my confidence and rearranged my being (the ending of every major friendship, relationship and meaningful thing in my life ~ thanks to a transformative Pluto transit) I know that wild spirit is in me and the land is calling her out to play. I've come to realise that my relationship with the land is the most important and meaningful thing in my life.

I'm committed to adventure, to having zero regrets on how I live my life going forward, to drink it all the way in and expand beyond my current limits. It's funny because my current limits used to feel so out of touch to me, but now it's just normal, and dare I say it even a little bit lacklustre at times. I didn't come here for that, I didn't come here for a monotonous routine even though on the outside looking in it might look a little bit out of the box.

So what does it look like this new chapter of adventure? It's the commitment to connecting with Country, with indigenous community, to learning and listening and doing what I can, where I can to help, however that looks. It's pushing my body beyond my prior limitations of knee injuries and a weak mindset really. It's taking care of my body as much as I take care of my spirit everyday, especially when I can't be fucked and it would be easier not to move. I want to move beyond my impulses, cultivate some discipline, really spend some good quality time with myself in solitude.

I want to do like really adventurous hikes, the Larapinta Trail outside of Alice Springs has sparked my interest, so has walking with camels across the Simpson Desert. I want to not be afraid to meet people in the wild, to say hello to a guy I think is cute or a chick that looks like a vibe. I want to be okay with sitting in the silence, to complete and utter boredom without trying to fix it and seeing what comes out of it, even if it's fucking painful. I want to trust the flow of money wholeheartedly, to release this niggling of scarcity that has become apparent in my life. I didn't have that in 2022, I set off with no more than $1,500 to my name and just rolled with the punches and everything turned out and flowed to me exactly when I needed it. I am always taken care of, I actually have no evidence that I'm not.

So yeah I want it all, to trust the pull of the yes and stand strong in the halt of a no. To respond to the pulsing thread of life that I'm following. I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, we never really do and for once I've not even tried to consider it, imagine it or predict it. All I know is the feeling that I will choose to follow because that's all we are doing in this life right? Wanting a feeling, yearning for a feeling, trying our best to create and plan our lives to ultimately have said feeling.

I'm excited, I'm really fucking excited. I'm excited to finish my last week in the Northern Rivers in a really beautiful way, giving some massages, catching up with some friends, spending time with my Aunty, it aligned so I can do a pregnancy massage course before I leave and I'm going to an Indigenous Culture Camp for 5 days too. Starting and ending my time in this region on the edge Nightcap and Mount Jerusalem, near Uki feels really special to me. That land has had such a strong pull and has been a friend to me for the past year in a variety of different ways.

Can't wait to update you as the journey unfolds x